Covey said, Everything is created twice, first in the mind,
then in the world." So things go from inner to outer, from spiritual
to material. Toynbee said, "we are human beings having a spiritual
experience." More progressive thinking suggests we are spiritual
beings having a human experience. How can we make our experience
more positive and learn the most from ourselves and others?
is perhaps like breathing in and breathing out. When we change
ourselves, then we can change our world. Happiness is an inside
job. We can't change other people, we can only change ourselves.
However, by changing ourselves we then relate to people differently,
which in turn can cause them to change.
human species is an organic whole. It can be likened to a
kaleidoscope, where you cannot change one piece without changing
the whole pattern. No man is an island entire unto himself.
"We cannot segregate the human heart from the environment
outside us and say that once one of these is reformed everything
will improve. Man is organic with the world. His inner life
molds the environment and is itself also deeply affected by
it. The one acts upon the other and ever abiding change in
the life of man is the result of these mutual reactions."
- Shoghi Effendi
O'Connor and John Seymour in "Introducing NLP" said, "What
does a musical note mean? Very little on it's own; it depends
how it relates to the notes around it, how high or low it
is, and how long it lasts. The same note can sound quite different
if the notes around it change."
do not live in isolation. Likewise, internally, our thoughts,
beliefs, values and how we internalize things are inter-related.
If we make a change at this very basic level in any aspect
of one of these areas, it can have a profound effect on our
entire being. The trick is knowing where to make the change
to be most effective.
results of our actions come back to us in a loop. Communication
is a relationship, a process - not a one way street. You cannot
be a teacher without a student, a seller without a buyer,
a giver without a receiver. How we relate to ourselves internally
will reflect in how we relate to others externally. If you
hate yourself, it is not easy to love others. If you don't
trust yourself, how can you really trust others?
a larger scale, if there is a problem in a family, where do
you make the change in the system (which person, the nature
of which relationship) to effect the most change in the pattern
and have a healthier family system? This is the art of effective
therapy. It looks at internal and external relationships and
systems. Likewise, where can you make the most effective change
in your community and in the world?
can we shift our way of thinking to get outside of our own
blind spots? Developing the skills of seeing things from other
people's points of view and from an interested observer's
point of view help a great deal. A fourth position, that of
"the space in between" yourself and others, allows you to
actually feel the interconnectedness and find more holistic
solutions. We do not change in bits and pieces, we change
Nygaard is a Certified Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP)
Trainer, Time Line Therapy® Master Trainer and Hypnotherapy
Trainer. She can be reached at email@example.com